Why is Receiving Critique So Difficult?
Why is receiving critical feedback usually so difficult, occupational psychology’s docent Kirsi Ahola?
-Critical feedback rouses an instinctive need to explain why you have acted exactly like that. We pay attention more to the negative feedback rather than the positive one. For a moment, it may feel like everything’s wrong. The evaluation of the situation and deciding what should be done now takes energy.
”You can thank for the opinion and say you’ll think about it. Then ponder what you think and whether the opinion could be useful.”
How can I learn to receive critique?
-It’s good to think that the feedback giver and receiver aren’t opposed, but that they have a common goal to get a good result. The feedback giver is thus like a free resource doing good. Someone wants to help you do better.
-Receive the critique neutrally listening. You can thank for the opinion and say you’ll think about it. Then ponder what you think and whether the opinion could be useful.
-If the feedback helps to do the matter better, the action should be changed. If one realises having had acted badly, it can be considered, if it would be good to express regret.
What if I feel offended or angry?
-You can always take a time-out. The feeling of irritation tells about an experience of injustice. It’s worth to decide by yourself what to do, and not to be provoked and get back at the feedback giver. Feedback is usually one person’s opinion.
-If the feedback seems unreasonable, you can say that you disagree or don’t understand on what the comment is based on. You can also ask to be more specific. If you can avoid the creation of an opposition, the critique often lessens.
Why is it good to tolerate critique?
–Critical feedback helps to develop. Constructive critique is directed to the matter and contains suggestions on what should be done. It’s a fact that nobody’s always perfect, but you can always develop.
Original article by: Elina Pajunen
Article and picture found in: Just (part B of Hämeen Sanomat), http://www.ilkka.fi/arki-ja-el%C3%A4m%C3%A4/lapset-ja-nuoret/miksi-kritiikin-vastaanotto-on-vaikeaa-1.2062895